Narcissism seems to be everywhere, and many would say, more and more, with each and every passing day. What’s up with this? Is it true? Or, are we just more inclined to label traits or behavior of others as being narcissistic when maybe it isn’t narcissism? Is narcissism as prevalent as it seems? Is there a difference between self-absorption and narcissism?

The Rise of Cultural Narcissism

Riding the wave of ever-increasing technology there is a noticeable and on-going rise in cultural narcissism. This can be evidenced by shifts in cultural and societal values. Real life has, in many ways, meshed with television making household names out of the newly famous or infamous getting attention and importance without actual corresponding achievement. That people feel entitled to this money, attention, and fame, without actual achievement is in and of itself narcissisitc because it is a false sense of entitlement mixing with delusions of grandeur.

People, whether they are on reality tv shows, or in viral videos on the internet, for example, are seeking the validation of the masses as a remedy to their own low self-esteem, low self-worth, and inability to validate themselves for who they really are. There is such an excessive focus on materialism that also accompanies this over-compensation and strong desire for attention.

What is Narcissistic About This?

Expecting to be famous for essentially nothing other than glorifying one’s personal dysfuntion and then feeling special about that indicates an out of focus self-focus. Indicates an out of balance perspective that has at its centre one’s over-compensating for what one lacks from within.

There is a growing cultural belief exhibited by many people that what they are doing or who they are should warrant an excessive amount of attention and admiration. This stems from an over-focus on self. What could be termed actually a lack of healthy focus on self and described rather as a self-indulgent and out-of-touch with reality mindset. A mindset driven by the reality that people in the narcissistic pursuit of fame, attention, and money, are focusing excessively on a self that they do not even know. Essentially they are living in and through a pseudo-self of a false self. This adds to the evidence that narcissism is indeed palable.

Narcissism is the life-blood of the false self of any human being. This is more apparent in those who have unresolved abandonment issues from childhood, whether they meet the criteria to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, or other forms of mental illness or not.

Is There A Difference Between Self-Absorption and Narcissism?

It may depend upon how one defines self-absorption. I think it is fair to say that self-absorption is a fairly narcissistic way of being. That said, there are degrees of self-absorption. Some would argue that some degree of self-focus or self-absorption has all to do with the expression of individuality. At what point does one’s own individual expression or perception become too inner-focused, or inner-directed enough for it to meet the criteria of being narcissisitic?

Anything that leans to the extreme, at the very least, encroaches upon narcissistic territory. It is in the median, the middle, from a healthy balance of inner and out-directed focus that narcissism is not prevalent. Balance and the middle-ground of healthy reasonable paradox in culture is not as common as one could argue it has been in the past. We see evidenced the absence of said in front of our very eyes on televsion and computer screens with alarming regularity. So much so, that for growing numbers of people, deeply endoctrinated now in the narcissism of a dominant technology driven pop culture there is now a conditioned response which sees this prevalence of narcissism as “normal”.

Could this be why it seems easier and easier to identify narcissism as being practically everywhere these days?

 © A.J. Mahari, November 13, 2009 – All rights reserved.

Toxic relationships are proliferating in what is a narcissistic cultural landscape. Are these relationships mistakes? If a toxic relationship is a mistake I would argue that once you begin to learn from it and let it teach you that it becomes a precious mistake. that can be turned into a profound growth opportunity. Do you view an experience in a toxic relationship as a mistake or as a growth opportunity?

The Lessons of The Traps of Toxic Relationships can be realized when we actively engage the questions that arise from the pain that toxic relating causes. Be willing and prepared to wait for what you most want and need. Trust that the winds that blow in your life today have purpose. Learn to wait.

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People with narcissism or who have narcissistic tendencies (personality-disordered or not) often behave in toxic and/or abuse ways. People diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder can often be difficult and challenging to cope with.

What is often not thought about in the arena of human life is that for all of the ability we have to think, feel, and perceive that may set us apart from other animals, we are after all still animals. We, like other animals do, have instincts. We all-too-often think our way out of what we know so well and so quickly and refer to as gut instincts that we can, if we are not careful, leave ourselves wide open to falling prey to the predatory toxic and personality-disordered.

Toxic relationships seem to be pervasive to the point where healthy relationships are in the minority. Toxic relationships are proliferating and have been doing so for the better part of the last few decades. Toxic relationships are the coming together of adults, who carry wounded children deep inside of them, and who were raised in dysfunctional families that by their very nature are also toxic.

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In the audio program Inside the Borderline Mind – Part Two, A.J. Mahari examines the lack of Object Constancy and Narcissism in BPD and how that effects the workings of the “borderline mind”- The Difference Between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

A look at the experience and consequences of borderline narcissism prefaced by an explanation of the roots of narcissism in both Greek Mythology and Psychoanalysis. I also include a description of the difference between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Shadows and Echoes of Self – The False Self Born Out Of The Core Wound Of Abandonment In Borderline Personality Disorder – Ebook by A.J. Mahari © March 2007

When it comes to experiencing being hurt by someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and/or Borderline Personality Disorder can or even should you have compassion for those with narcissism?
Having compassion for anyone who is narcissistic, whether they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and/or Borderline Personality Disorder does not negate the reality of the fact that relating to these personality disordered people means you are having to deal with a Difficult and/or toxic person in what might well be an abusive relationship. Narcissist are in pain. Their humanity must be recognized.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is part of a wider continuum of narcissism not the sum total of it all. NPD is not the sole domain of narcissism. It is important to understand there are many faces to narcissism and that it manifests in different ways for different reasons outside of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.